Right now, I am at Jiffy Lube taking care of oil change and maintenance for my pick-up truck. I am waiting in the office to pay for it. Suddenly, I catch myself having discomforting level of anxiety. It's not strong but it's there. So I went through in my mind "why is this happening?". I concluded that it's because I'm doing the car maintenance now. It's because I couldn't take my car to oil change for the longest time whether it's because I was broke or didn't have time or was scared to face any significant charges on my truck. I realized that I haven't opened my hood for over half a year maybe close to a year. I really can't remember the last time I did anything to my car. I'm so afraid the it will break down on me like my last car. I don't have any money to buy another one or if it has an engine problem or something, I can't pay for it. Suddenly, I remembered that everytime I get on the truck, I have slight anxiety.
I know that regular check up and maintenance can avoid major damage. And when they opened the hood, this green corrosive stuff was coming out of the battery. The guy said it can ruin the metal around it. All they had to do was clean it and spray something on it to prevent further leak. I felt like I could have done that if it wasn't for my anxiety.
So I have decided a new task for me! I am going to open the hood of my truck once a month! To prevent any major damage and to tackle my anxiety. I think this is a good plan. And maybe I could do research about car maintenance sometimes too. That would ease my anxiety. Yup, knowledge is a good side-effect free medicine for anxiety.
It's surprising how hard it can be to notice the anxiety when you have it so often.
3 comments:
If this helps you then I am glad to hear it! I know anxiety is a killer so finding something that works is a much welcomed release.
Congratulations! I don't know if you even realize what an amazing thing you accomplished while you were waiting for your truck! When you started to feel anxious you took the time to say "hold up - why is this happening?" - and that's the BEST THING you can do to help EASE your anxiety - when you get to the root of WHY.
Car issues always cause me to stress out too - so I've been doing what you're starting to do too - "pop the hood and check things out myself" :) I'm impressed that ME - who knows NOTHING about cars - has actually been able to fix little things here and there and saving myself money! Like you, I can't afford to have my car break down - ahhhh - the thought of adding a car payment to our monthly bills just stresses me out!! !:)
wow - TANGENT - sorry!! I just want to express to you how proud I am that you were able to do something that SO MANY people are NOT able to do when in the midst of a panic attack - GREAT WORK!! By doing so you can stop it from getting worse!!
((HUGS))
Christine
can we exchange links ?
http://npjb.blogspot.com
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